Sushi Money

Do you ever wonder if at the end of your life, after the funeral, when the family and friends go home, and when people think about the person who you were, what they remember of you?  Do you care about a legacy?  Is it important that some sense of who you were is left behind or considered by others?  Does it matter to you at all?

Those are all questions that many of us consider from time to time, especially as we get older or go through a life changing experience.  If some of those questions strike a chord within, perhaps it’s because at some level we want our life to matter. 

What we do in life, and what we leave behind does matter to many, many people.  It matters so much that many of us do something to show that we care.  We work to help others in our community, or a charitable cause, in life or after.  We have life insurance, or make bequests from our will or estate.  Or we write a letter or note for loved ones to read after we’re gone.  Maybe we simply try to divide our belongings and estate among family in friends in a manner we think would help them.  

For many of us it’s hard to really understand how our actions may have helped others through life.  We wonder if our lives really made a difference and reach for some sense of how our life mattered.

Of course there are other people that do have some sense of the impact they have made, or that they will make, and some seek the opportunity to contribute, give back, or “make their mark” to such a degree that their lives have been a statement in and of themselves.  I think of Bill and Melinda Gates’ legacy with their charitable foundation, and I marvel at what they’ve achieved on behalf of others.

But some people live their lives to such a degree that they don’t care one bit about what other people think, in life or in death.  And that’s fine too, and it’s their choice.

Most of us do care however.  Yet realistically we will never know of our impact or how others wil view our life. And that’s just the way life is.  

Personally I can think of nothing worse than seeing the last statement of who I was as someone who abandoned any sense of humanity or care towards other people. 

Apparently Leona Helmsley did just that.  She died in 2007 with over $2 billion in liquid assets on hand, and left most all of it for the welfare of dogs.   That was certainly her choice and I don’t begrudge taking care of animals in any way.

But it was the singular focus on animals that, for me, made a statement of Leona Helmsley’s inhumanity towards other people. 

“The [New York] Times said Helmsley signed the mission statement in 2003 to establish two goals for the multibillion dollar trust that would dole out her assets following her death.”

“The first goal was to help poor people, the Times reported. The second goal was to provide for the care and welfare of dogs, the paper reported. In 2004, Helsmley, erased the first goal, the Times said.”

What wonderful goals she had on her personal mission statement. To help poor people, and to help dogs. And then to abandon people altogether? I think that’s very sad.

Most of us won’t ever be able to conceive of the differences we have made to the lives of others.  The little things we have said or done, or the people we’ve helped along the way.   Have you read the story of Eddie in The Five People You Meet in Heaven?  Watching the 2005 movie by the same name provokes some profound thoughts about the journey of our lives and the people we have touched.

The story of Eddie is about someone who doesn’t think his life really mattered.  On his 83rd birthday he dies in an accident trying to save a little girl.  And then he wakes up in heaven where five different people take him through the journey of his life, and show him how his life touched theirs, and that it did really matter.   The story shows how connected we are with each other, and that whether we realize it or not, our actions and kindnesses do matter.  Eddie discovers the meaning of his life and learns that what matters most is the love and kindness that we show to others. 

It’s a wonderful story that frames the small inconveniences and daily frustrations of our lives in such a way that we may let them go to understand the greater good.   And maybe take heart that our lives do matter, and will have mattered long after we are gone.   Who we are does matter, and we can make a difference.

Leona Helmsley’s estate legacy will certainly make a difference in the lives of dogs.  It’s a shame so many children and families living in poverty could not have received the same consideration.  Or a school, or a shelter, or a foundation… 

Even so, we won’t ever know of the lives she touched or those she may have helped during her life.  Maybe somehow her support for the welfare of animals will foster a greater awareness for animal welfare, and ultimately a greater good among people?   It’s possible.

I don’t know what the last statement of who I am as a person will be. I hope it’s something that involves helping other people, and whether remembered or not, that it’s something that makes a difference.

Maybe it’s a good time to look at the will.

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